When Amina spent the night at her best friends. She spoke about how Ghengis used to use anything he could as a weapon against her. From keys to cigarettes, to his fists and feet.
When she had started her period at his house, he would beat her up because she wasn’t getting pregnant. Depending on his mood, he wouldn’t let her even sleep in peace.
Amina spoke of how he woke her up in the middle of the night so she would massage his legs and feet. He then made her kiss his feet to apologise. But she had no clue what she was apologising for.
Her best friend asked if he had sexually assaulted her. Amina said whilst he never raped her, he did force her to give him blowjobs. He also openly spoke to girls from his past and she suspects he may have been having an affair with his first wife.
He also made Amina claim for Universal Credit. Even changing his voice to speak on her behalf if she was not in the room when they called. Every single time she got paid, he would take her to the bank and make her withdraw every single penny. She didn’t see that money once it was withdrawn but said he spent it and sometimes gave it to his sister.
Amina spent a week at her friends. Due to the bad weather and the fact she needed breathing room before the lectures started from her parents. However, she rang home and spoke to her mom. She explained that Ghengis wouldn’t let her speak to them and that he was beating her up but she had managed to escape and was with the police.
She decided that she wouldn’t advise that she was at her friends due to the fact she needed to sort herself out. Instead, she called home almost every day to have quick conversations with her mom and dad. She also took her nans home number and called her nan as she was very close with her nan and was concerned about her wellbeing as her nan was unwell. She also spoke to her older brother who was concerned for her and wanted to make sure she was OK.
Amina has slowly but surely managed to rebuild her relationships with the people in her family who matter to her. Unfortunately, as of yet, she has not seen or spoken to her children. However, she has managed to hear their voices when her parents are video calling the children.
It was lucky Amina managed to escape when she did, as her ex-husband had started proceedings for full custody of the children and thankfully she was present for the initial hearing. Due to allegations of abuse from her first husband, Cafcass had to be involved and investigate the allegations. Her ex-husband admitted he lied because he was angry and has stated he realises the children need their mother in their life.
The children were also interviewed by Cafcass, however they have stated they want to live with their daddy and her eldest has advised she doesn’t want to see her. This is likely because both children are feeling abandoned by Amina and perhaps, they have also heard their father and his family bad mouthing Amina.
Amina is determined to put the past behind her and keep herself and her family safe. This is why she applied for an emergency injunction through the solicitor that the police put her in touch with. Unfortunately, at that point the judge declined to give her the injunction so Amina was living in fear and hiding out at her parents.
She had to wait a further 6 weeks for another hearing where a Molestation Order could be considered. At this point Ghengis was served with papers that required him to attend the hearing. Amina’s solicitor had spoken to Ghengis and advised they would he applying for the Molestation Order and he advised he would not accept this and would fight it.
Another thing to note is that Ghengis called her nans home multiple times and claimed that Amina had run away with someone else and this was a habit of hers. He also informed them she had run away to his home many times as a teenager and that he didn’t trust her. He and his mother called her nans home multiple times even though they asked him not to contact them and they claimed they didn’t know where she was.
On the day the of the hearing for the Molestation Order. Ghengis did not attend the hearing and so the judge granted the Molestation Order. As a result, papers were served to Ghengis and this has, at least for now, prevented him contacting Amina’s grandmother.
Amina is still afraid when she hears a car revving outside her house late at night or when someone plays the type of music Ghengis used to play. She thinks he has come to bother her as this is what he used to do with his ex-wife. This is something he had form for.
However, she is moving on. She has changed her bank details, spoken to the jobcentre and is actively looking for work. She has also started a course through Learn Direct as she wants to build a better life for both her and her children. She is currently doing a Teaching Assistant course. Right now, the kids are her biggest priority and her court case is next month so hopefully she will get good news and finally manage to hold her children again.
What I would say is, if you are in a situation that requires help, please contact the many charities that are available and specialists in providing help. I have listed the numbers of the UK ones below.
National Domestic Abuse Helpline – 0808 2000 247 – www.nationaldahelpline.org.uk/ (run by Refuge)
The Men’s Advice Line, for male domestic abuse survivors – 0808 801 0327 (run by Respect)
The Mix, free information and support for under 25s in the UK – 0808 808 4994
National LGBT+ Domestic Abuse Helpline – 0800 999 5428 (run by Galop)
Samaritans (24/7 service) – 116 123